Yesterday afternoon, while browsing Facebook, I came across a stunning account of autism written by a neurotypical 9-year-old girl. Her voice is so clear and full of warmth it needs to be heard.
Her mother initially posted on a Facebook group, explaining that the school was holding an Autism Awareness day that involved wearing purple; she pointed out:
“You know, dress up days which are often difficult for those with Autism… To support Autism.”
However, the school also offered students the chance to share something about autism.
I think you’ll agree, this girl does not simply “build awareness.” Instead, she paints a picture of acceptance and encourages inclusiveness; she shows the beauty of difference and writes with a love and respect for her siblings that educates us all.
This is her complete, unedited account (republished with her full permission):
Different and the same: The words of a 9-year-old
Part One of Five
I would like to tell you about how Autism has affected my life.
I have 4 brothers and 1 sister with Autism.
They are all very different and struggle with different things. The one thing that is the same is they don’t think like I and other people without Autism do.
This can affect them in different ways. One of them doesn’t like to be touched at all, no hugs no arm round the shoulder. AT ALL.
Another doesn’t like textures so needs all the stickers to move from their bedroom, or to only wear plain clothes no zips, pokets words and other things. Can’t touch polystyrene.
Part Two of Five
Another one suddenly panics when he doesn’t understand and gets really angry and scared.
One of them makes sounds that he can’t help this changes but at the moment it is like a cough laugh.
Another thing is they like to talk about the same thing a lot and tend to think of things over and over again and because of that don’t like change at all or disappointment.
It is easy to hear this and think oh well I don’t like some of those things maybe I have Autism.
I know I don’t because it really is just a different way of thinking. For example, my brother Oscar, when he arrived home once he pointed to our house and said “This is my house and it is ALWAYS just here” I would never think and wonder will my house still be there every time I come home I trust what has happened before.
Part Three of Five
When I had my hair cut some of my brothers thought it wasn’t me anymore.
My brother Ryan once got home from school and he got really angry and started emptying everything out the airing cupboard. What had happened is my mum had washed his bedding and to him that meant that someone had stolen it. Even though my mum has washed lots of bedding his brain didn’t realise it was just in the washing.
He wouldn’t believe it and calm down till he saw it.
My sister once thought that her friends dad was a penguin because her friend drew a picture of her dad and it looked like a penguin.
People with Autism are literal. That means they often take exactly what you mean to mean that. Or exactly what they see. So when you are sarcastic that is hard for them and they often believe exactly as you say. This isn’t because they are not clever!
Part Four of Five
My brothers are all SUPER super clever and really good at Math. But when you have a conversation with some of them they often don’t talk about the thing you were talking about and reply with random things. But they do understand you and they do know you are laughing at them or teasing them. They just don’t understand why because they would not do that. They don’t get offended very easily. Also emotions are really difficult for them. If I asked my oldest brother who is 15 what jealous meant he would tell me what the dictionary says it means and he couldn’t tell me of a time he felt it. All people with Autism can have different issues. That is why it is called a spectrum.
Part Five of Five
What I have really learnt about Autism is that they are just the same as you as me. Just like a person who is left handed needs to have some support and left handed things. People with Autism sometimes just need a bit of support because of differences. When they need to play alone or hide under the table or make different noises or faces they need us to just be normal and kind. Like they are with me when I get really upset about something when they don’t understand why.
My advice is when you see someone acting differently is to not think they are weird and avoid them but to be kind. Because even if they don’t have autism everyone needs kindness.
I loved this post!
Here is the message I posted with your piece on my wall and on our medical society’s page:
Light it up Gold – Autistic Acceptance Month
This “neurotypical” sister of autistic sibs has the best advice:
“My advice is when you see someone acting differently is to not think they are weird and avoid them but to be kind. Because even if they don’t have autism everyone needs kindness.”
—-
Some people like to call this “Autism Awareness” month, but most autistic adults prefer that is be “Autism Acceptance” month – and light it up Gold. There is a lot of Awareness right now, but what they need is Acceptance:
– of their differences in thinking
– of their needs in the face of issues of their sensory processing
– of their social interaction style
– of their unusual strengths
and in some cases
– of their right to live
There are some groups who still are pushing messages of eugenics (“good genes” – i.e. “genes just like mine”) and trying to eliminate autism, and also some who try to “cure” it via sometimes horrendous means (bleach enemas, electric shocks, restraints, repeated B12 injections – no, This is not exaggerated… ). Groups who have condoned this are associated with the “Light it up Blue” campaign, which is why most autistic adults prefer “Light it up Gold”
Thanks so much, Laura. The more people understand about the uphill struggles autistic people face, the more we can make changes. Thank you again.
Thank you so much. I have just read your post. Beautifully written. I will follow with joy.